Cats and Dogs

That's pretty much what's been happening outside for the last hour. Raining cats and dogs. It's ridiculously wet and we're going to Suches tomorrow for the Indian Summer festival. According to the National Weather Service, Suches is under a flash flood warning for Saturday and Sunday. Who here thinks the Indian Summer festival ISN'T going to happen?

Yeah. Pretty much.

Tyler and I managed to not kill each other. Yet. I've just discovered that I CANNOT talk about politics with him. I should have learned that earlier this summer when we nearly got into a different argument. About politics. *Sigh* That's really frustrating.

Chuck Sr is home. How do I know this? He beeped the car alarm TEN times. Ten. Ten times.

(I know. I know. He says "years" but same difference. I pretty much said this, word for word, when he did it.)

Then? He came out and beeped it three more times 45 minutes later.

I really, REALLY, want to shove that key fob down his throat.

Hope all is well in Chicago. Here is wet. And... yeah. Pretty much a sogging mess.

Da bears, ya'll!

Irritable Vowels

The t-shirt I wore today pretty much sums up my mood...

After getting into a near-shouting match with Tyler over Planned Parenthood, having four vials of blood drawn, and then having this happen on Facebook...

(This is what I posted about the podcast...)

(And that middle comment riiiiiight there from Christina just about made me want to throw my new iPhone into the creek behind our house.)

I hope your Wednesday in Chicago is going more swimmingly than my Wednesday in Woodstock. 

Da bears, ya'll!

The Terrible Tuesdays

Tuesdays just got really bad.

Wait, allow me to preface this.

When the twins came home from school on Monday, I saw that they had ExP letters in their binders. It seems that they'll both be participating in extra math tutoring every Tuesday at 2:30PM for an hour. Until the end of March. The math nerd in me is all That's great! The mother in me is all HOLY CRAP WE'RE A FAILURE!!!

This morning dawned with a ridiculous schedule. 2:30PM? Pick up Jarrod. 3:20PM? Load Jarrod into the car to pick up Heath at 3:30. 4:20PM? Leave Heath and Jarrod (ssssshhhhhh.... don't tell DFACS!) to pick up Amelia from her art workshop at 4:30. Then? Spend the next hour listening to Amelia sob and cry that she can't play with her friends, fix dinner, make them eat dinner, and then Jarrod goes off to taekwondo.

This whole motherhood thing is great? But I think I need to go to Fiji. For 20 years.

Hope Chicago is drier than it is here. (Wait... hang on. I'll check the weather... yep dry with wind.) As I'm typing this, it's thundering and raining quite hard and Macy is downstairs trying to convince Tyler that there's an apocalypse afoot.

The kids and I called Randy yesterday and sang Happy Birthday to him. I couldn't tell if he was chuffed or confused. Your husband is a hard nut to crack.

At any rate, I went over to Jeremy's apartment last night to record a podcast during which we geeked out over the whole "ZOMG!! FLOWING WATER ON MARS!" news for a solid 40 minutes. Said podcast will be up tomorrow (just go here) and feel free to listen if you are so inclined. Jeremy lamented that his Instagram account wasn't being used very much so I obliged him with a selfie:

Clearly, the Zoloft is working too well.

Da bears, ya'll!

Hungover Hogwarts

Woman, I was COMPLETELY hungover this morning! Yeah. Headache, nausea, the whole works. I barely got the kids' their breakfast, made myself coffee, drank half of it, and gulped down some Advil before I collapsed back onto the couch for 90 minutes in a stupor. I got up at 10:30 just in time to rush around and do the last-minute party preparations.

I don't think I ever want to touch another bottle of moscato/schnapps ever again.

OK. Fine. Maybe sometime in November.

Anyway, the party went off without a hitch! As you can see, it was quite the success.

Even little Josephine came down! She sat through the ENTIRE movie. Which is more than I can say for Jarrod and Chase...

Amelia was a little sad because her two friends from school didn't come. They never replied to the invitation, so I'm going to have to investigate that a little further. I'm glad Paige and Bella were there, though.

Heath and his new buddy Connor (green shirt, far right) are nerds in a pod. Over pizza, I heard them talking about the Air and Space Museum and NASA. My nerd heart quivered. Finally, my little man has a best friend!

The best part of the day, though, was when I passed out the Bertie Bott's Every Flavor Beans. Jarrod walks up to Mom and asks, "Is this one banana?" It was yellow with white flecks which is CLEARLY rotten egg. Mom said, "Yeah, that's banana." He pops it in his mouth and she looks at me and winks. Two chews later, he was gagging, spitting it out in the trash, and trying to wipe off his tongue. Mom looks at me and says, "Little shit. Serves him right. He shouldn't have kept getting up and distracting everyone during the movie!"

Don't cross my mother, yo.

Thirty minutes after the last kid left, I headed to Perimeter for dinner with Teri and another old ExecuTrain friend, Reed, who was in town for his Emory University 25th reunion. And now? This hungover, middle-aged nerd is going to bed. Hope your flight to Chicago was OK!

Da bears, ya'll!

And We're Outta Here!!

So, you're going to leave Ireland day after tomorrow. Therefore, this will be my last post before you come home. I know you're out sightseeing tomorrow so HAVE A TON OF FUN!!!!!

I took the kids to the Tellus museum today and we had a really great time!

So sad to say that the 4,400 pound amethyst geode would NOT fit in the car. Disappointed that the kids didn't even try to help me get it out of the museum in the first place. Lazy, ungrateful bums. It would have made the perfect centerpiece to an otherwise ho-hum suburban front yard. But, next time we go back, I'll try for it. You in?

Jarrod's main MO was to run around and FIND ALL THE GOLD, MAMA! I LOVE GOLD! IT'S MY FAVORITE! I think I'm going to start calling him Scrooge. Or get him a job advertising gold coins on TV.  Speaking of Jarrod, he managed to choke on part of his PB&J sandwich at the cafe. I hadn't even sat down when he sputtered and then looked at me panicked. Just as I got in position to do the Heimlich, he swallowed it. He cried and I stopped shaking halfway through my tuna salad sandwich. Kids.

We whizzed through dinosaur bones and old cars (snooze-fest) and immediately went panning for gemstones.

Of course, the gemstones are small. Miniscule. Barely visible to the 40-something naked eye. I thought about telling them to collect enough to pay off the house for a month (emeralds, amethysts, and tiger eyes, OH MY!) but, yeah. Not so much. What we DID get was tee-tiny little Ziploc baggies of chips of semi-semi-semi-precious polished rocks (agate - BAH!) and wet shirts and shorts. And I ended up with a handful of purple quartz. Each time they found a piece, "HERE MAMA! HERE! THIS IS FOR YOU!!!" Yep, right up there with dandelions and gravel gifts. *Sniff!*

The best part of this 40-minute-long adventure, though, came from the random 4-year-old who got a kick out of the automatic hand dryers and decided to stand under one and loudly giggle. For 10 minutes. True story.

And then? The kids discovered the fossil room...

That wasn't actually dirt. And it wasn't sand. All I can figure is that it's tiny little bits of tan-colored recycled rubber. It had a really weird texture that I did not like. And the kids were supposed to brush it away to reveal the fossils underneath. The boys? Brushed. Amelia? Dug with two hands like a danged rat terrier after a rodent. Little bits of rubber were EVERYWHERE. Yeah. I pretended not to know them and acted like I was horrified at the feral kids in the fossil pit.

WHAT?!? It was the only way I could check on my Facebook/Twitter/Instagram feeds!

At any rate, we survived and it's time for me to hit the sack. See you on Sunday! Slán, ya'll!

Blarney This

You're going to kiss the Blarney Stone?!?!

Honey, sounds like you're having an adventure. YOU should be telling ME about your days, not the other way around. My crap is BORING!!!!

So, Amelia broke out into a secondary rash on her chest and I went into full-on mystery illness panic mode and yanked her back to the pediatrician. It was then that we discovered that, huh, that mystery butt rash is better. And the chest rash? Kind of lacy. Lacy rash = fifths disease. But... but... but... we dealt with that crap three years ago! I DON'T WANT FIFTHS DISEASE AGAIN!!! IT HURT!! AND MY NEIGHBOR HAD TO BABYSIT MY PANIC ATTACKS!! She asked me what symptoms Amelia had when she had fifths and we determined that she must have had a mild case and now, another mild case. And that the boys and I should be fine.

If I'm huddled in a corner, in the fetal position, at the CDC, when you return, you'll know why.

So, Mystery Rash 2015 is clearing up and will go in the history books alongside Pneumonia 2015 as TOTALLY SUCKING!

Nothing else to report. It's 10AM here. Kids are doing chores/reading/workbooks/piano and when they're done, I'm taking them to the Tellus Museum. Send me good juju. I'm going to need it!

Slán, ya'll!

Hammer Time!

I leave this here, without comment. It's me. Playing my dulcimer. And it's meh. But, hey! It's better than me prattling on for five pages, right?

Slán, ya'll!

PS Heard you're going to French kiss the Blarney Stone! All I have to say is you better wipe that face off with Clorox before you step off the plane. Nasty, germy Jodi!