Irritable Vowels

The t-shirt I wore today pretty much sums up my mood...

After getting into a near-shouting match with Tyler over Planned Parenthood, having four vials of blood drawn, and then having this happen on Facebook...

(This is what I posted about the podcast...)

(And that middle comment riiiiiight there from Christina just about made me want to throw my new iPhone into the creek behind our house.)

I hope your Wednesday in Chicago is going more swimmingly than my Wednesday in Woodstock. 

Da bears, ya'll!

The Terrible Tuesdays

Tuesdays just got really bad.

Wait, allow me to preface this.

When the twins came home from school on Monday, I saw that they had ExP letters in their binders. It seems that they'll both be participating in extra math tutoring every Tuesday at 2:30PM for an hour. Until the end of March. The math nerd in me is all That's great! The mother in me is all HOLY CRAP WE'RE A FAILURE!!!

This morning dawned with a ridiculous schedule. 2:30PM? Pick up Jarrod. 3:20PM? Load Jarrod into the car to pick up Heath at 3:30. 4:20PM? Leave Heath and Jarrod (ssssshhhhhh.... don't tell DFACS!) to pick up Amelia from her art workshop at 4:30. Then? Spend the next hour listening to Amelia sob and cry that she can't play with her friends, fix dinner, make them eat dinner, and then Jarrod goes off to taekwondo.

This whole motherhood thing is great? But I think I need to go to Fiji. For 20 years.

Hope Chicago is drier than it is here. (Wait... hang on. I'll check the weather... yep dry with wind.) As I'm typing this, it's thundering and raining quite hard and Macy is downstairs trying to convince Tyler that there's an apocalypse afoot.

The kids and I called Randy yesterday and sang Happy Birthday to him. I couldn't tell if he was chuffed or confused. Your husband is a hard nut to crack.

At any rate, I went over to Jeremy's apartment last night to record a podcast during which we geeked out over the whole "ZOMG!! FLOWING WATER ON MARS!" news for a solid 40 minutes. Said podcast will be up tomorrow (just go here) and feel free to listen if you are so inclined. Jeremy lamented that his Instagram account wasn't being used very much so I obliged him with a selfie:

Clearly, the Zoloft is working too well.

Da bears, ya'll!

Hungover Hogwarts

Woman, I was COMPLETELY hungover this morning! Yeah. Headache, nausea, the whole works. I barely got the kids' their breakfast, made myself coffee, drank half of it, and gulped down some Advil before I collapsed back onto the couch for 90 minutes in a stupor. I got up at 10:30 just in time to rush around and do the last-minute party preparations.

I don't think I ever want to touch another bottle of moscato/schnapps ever again.

OK. Fine. Maybe sometime in November.

Anyway, the party went off without a hitch! As you can see, it was quite the success.

Even little Josephine came down! She sat through the ENTIRE movie. Which is more than I can say for Jarrod and Chase...

Amelia was a little sad because her two friends from school didn't come. They never replied to the invitation, so I'm going to have to investigate that a little further. I'm glad Paige and Bella were there, though.

Heath and his new buddy Connor (green shirt, far right) are nerds in a pod. Over pizza, I heard them talking about the Air and Space Museum and NASA. My nerd heart quivered. Finally, my little man has a best friend!

The best part of the day, though, was when I passed out the Bertie Bott's Every Flavor Beans. Jarrod walks up to Mom and asks, "Is this one banana?" It was yellow with white flecks which is CLEARLY rotten egg. Mom said, "Yeah, that's banana." He pops it in his mouth and she looks at me and winks. Two chews later, he was gagging, spitting it out in the trash, and trying to wipe off his tongue. Mom looks at me and says, "Little shit. Serves him right. He shouldn't have kept getting up and distracting everyone during the movie!"

Don't cross my mother, yo.

Thirty minutes after the last kid left, I headed to Perimeter for dinner with Teri and another old ExecuTrain friend, Reed, who was in town for his Emory University 25th reunion. And now? This hungover, middle-aged nerd is going to bed. Hope your flight to Chicago was OK!

Da bears, ya'll!