Cold Chillin' With The Randall

So, I saw your in-laws' car in your driveway on Monday and I sent Randall an all-caps text that consisted of, "ZOMG THE PARENTS ARE HERE AND YOU DIDN'T TELL ME?!?!?" And then I couldn't, for the life of me, remember your MIL's name (I knew it was a car name, but I knew if I called her "Mustang" I would win the "Worst Neighbor of the Year" award.).

SHELBY!!!!

Girlfriend needs a sports car.

Anyway, I went over yesterday (Tuesday) for a quick visit and found out you're coming home on Saturday. SQUEEEEEEEE!!!!!!

Anyway, we're excited you'll be back in the lower 48. Meanwhile, Tyler woke up grumpy on his 43rd birthday. I am getting ready to bake his cake.

Love and miss you! Auf wiedersehen, ya'll!

Mary Lou Retton Lives Here

Yep. There she is in all her gymnastics glory. She had her first class today and LOVED IT and OH MY GOSH IT WAS AWESOME and DID YOU SEE ME ON THE BARS and I DO A REALLY GOOD BACK BEND!!!!! Yes, that is her shiny pink, brand spanking new, leotard. This house will never be the same. Tyler, being one for fairness, said, "Well, Amelia is in gymnastics and Heath is in drama. Jarrod needs something extra." So, off I go tomorrow to see if I can get Jarrod in a Monday or Thursday tae kwan do class. Let the chauffeur stage of parenthood begin.

Zumba kicked my rear this morning which means I'll go back tomorrow morning for more. I still haven't figured out what to get Tyler for his birthday. Could you send over some German strippers? Is that even a thing there? Or maybe you could AirMail me some bratwurst. Nah, just forget it. I'll figure it out.

CONGRATULATIONS ON ALL YOUR AWESOME SOFTWARE ACCOMPLISHMENTS!!!! Although, I did have a bit of a snicker when I got your text. The software is called QIMS? Spelled a bit differently, but "quim" was Victorian-era slang for lady bits. *Insert juvenile snickering and snorting here.* Feel free to full-face punch me when you get home. And I need to stop reading romance novels and all their euphemisms for bits.

I LOVE YOU AND AM SO PROUD THAT EVERYTHING IS GOING SO SMOOTHLY! Hopefully see you sooner rather than later!

Auf wiedersehen, ya'll!

Sunday Night... I Think There's a Game On Or Something*

Doing my ghost hunter thing. AKA being a dork.

The weekend was quiet. The kids played up and down the street, I did the chores no mother ever gets a break from, and Tyler hibernated in the downstairs server room because he just re-did all the cables and wiring. You know how it is when you re-organize/clean a room and you just want to spend all your time in it because for just a few, short days, it's a glorious thing? Well, that's Tyler and his computer room this weekend. And I can't blame him for it because, hey, my office is the shiz right now. Even Andy thinks so.

We received the HOA letter in the mail telling us about what happened at the annual meeting and our favorite guy actually ran for office again. He was not elected (THANK Flying Spaghetti Monster. Can I get a Ra-men?). I don't know why that man thinks he ever has a chance in hell of being elected back on the board. What an idiot.

(Chuck Senior just pulled into his driveway. How do I know? Well, it's after dark and he just hit the lock button on his key fob five bajillion times, thereby honking his car horn five bajillion times. BECAUSE ONCE ISN'T ENOUGH, CHUCK! IT'S NEVER ENOUGH, IS IT?!? IF THE CAR HONKS ONCE, IT'S LOCKED! TRUST ME ON THIS! JUST STOP IT WITH THE OCD CAR-LOCKING OR I'M GOING TO HAVE TO TAKE YOU TO LAKE ALLATOONA!)

Teri came by on Saturday because I haven't seen her in a coon's age. Girlfriend has been holding out on us BECAUSE SHE HAS A BOYFRIEND!!!! She's been seeing him since August and we managed to grill her about him. Seems we'll get to meet him sometime in the near future. She's doing good. We had a mutual parent bitch-fest. Rachel, take notes. Even when you're an adult, you'll be complaining about your parents. It's OK. That's the order of things. Someday, your kids will complain about you when they're adults. Take comfort in that.

Today (Sunday) was the "drive all the way to Medlock Bridge to meet up with clients who live in Bethlehem to present them with their evidence" day. And, boy, is it great evidence. I'll show you when you get back. It went well, but I was up late the night before working on the report and going over last-minute audio (thus the dorky picture above). We actually had a video clip of something shadowy moving across the screen to show them. Totally. Friggin'. Amazeballs. You'll flip when I show you.

And thus we kick off the "Dobson Birthday Week." Tyler and I will be 43 this week. For two whole days, I'll be married to an older man. Mah Sugar-Daddeh! I have no idea what to get him. Some years, I knock it out of the park. Other years, I have no clue. This? One of those years. But, we're going to hit the Kani house in Towne Lake on Wednesday for his birthday supper and Mom is fixing my dinner on Friday (ALL GREEK, BABY!). I will be running 20 miles on Saturday just to work off the cake.

And now, on that note, I leave you with this picture. I saw it on Reddit and laughed for a solid 20 minutes. I may have actually snorted a time or two. If you don't get it, I will smack you when you get home.

You're welcome. Auf wiedersehen, ya'll!

*Dude. The NFL can suck it.